Finally i was able to register the following day after being reminded of the bible verse that talks of the violent taking the kingdom of heaven by force. My kits(Khaki, jungle boots, white shorts and white round neck tops) were as usual oversize. Infact they could fit ‘two of me’. Since the next day was swearing in, i was left with no choice than to slimfit the khaki material at an extremely high price(#1500). I was crying bitterly on the inside. As the woman was sewing the khaki, it felt as if my flesh was being sewn. Anyways it was only manageable for the swearing in ceremony with my jungle boot of all sizes.
As for the swearing in ceremony, i was opportuned to listen from the health center because i was assisted by the red cross personnels from the parade ground to the clinic. Y’all understand. And Guess what i ended up crushing on one fine doctor. What a Blessing in Disguise! Please don’t judge me.
The following day SAED lectures commenced. The Era of everlasting sleep. Coman and see different sleeping positions. Chooiii no be mata of forming o. Even “bigger guys and ladies” slept recklessly after having one’s sweet morning sleep disturbed by the so called beagle.
All in all, SAED class was fun and educative. I signed up for the Decoration and event management class. I met a crazy comedian-MC Holy Mouth aka Dem go collect. He is extremely talented. I no dey crush o, make una take am easy.
Not forgetting, the entertaining social events at night during which most times our sexy camp commandant (Cc Sexy) danced or rapped for us. 99.5% of the female corpers were tripping for “Cc sexy” and they did all sorts to get his attention.
Finally, camp came to an end. What NYSC joined together, primary posting put asunder. But still friends were made, ties were knot, families were united and we departed to our various Ppas with joy.
N.B: To my two lovely NYSC besties turned destiny friends- Ayomikun and Fikayo, I love you dearly.
After many months of prayer and fasting. The good news finally arrived. I couldn’t sleep due to anxiety. Thankfully, Bestie and I were posted to south west. Ondo state to be precise(our exact choice)…Yayyy, i rolled on the ground severally immediately i saw it… The journey to camp was about six hours despite the fast and furious driver we had.
On getting to camp, my loads were searched for contrabands as they call it.Trust me(as per good citizen), none was found in my possession. In the process of the search, i forgot the small bucket(which i bought at a ridiculous price) at the security post. We were asked to go to our rooms to drop our loads(they were quite considerate). After this, registration began. Omo, see queue.
Well, well, being a Queen 👑, a gentleman allowed me to stand before him and in no time, i was through with stage 1 with so much ease and comfort. Stage 1 involved screening of credentials.
Moving on to stage 2(biometrics screening), a large crowd was sitted patiently in the so called multipurpose hall. The same gentleman offered me his seat. Trust me, i jumped at the offer without wasting time. Although, i had to give him my number, but trust me Lagos babe i know how to get guys(that i have no interest in) off my back. Hopefully he wouldn’t get to read this post.
Unfortunately i wasn’t opportuned to complete my registration after sitting at a spot from 2pm to 10pm. In addition, i ate a very cold plate of rice at mammy market at a high price. I purged all night and ended up pleading to Baba God to teleport me back to my Father’s house. An empty wish.
God bless Naija anyways!!!
Finally I’m back to the stressful day to day activities by NYSC. Not to worry, you will all get to read about my NYSC camp experience very soon. Flashback(as we have in those yoruba movies where you have numerous flashbacks in one particular flashback) to my undergraduate days on OAU campus (kampuss in jenifa’s voice)…A typical monday plays out like this:
Alarm rings at 5am for 7am class, annoyingly gets up cursing and hissing as if I’m on mount Ebal(the mountain God told the Isrealites to set aside for curses). Despite my sleepy eyes, i can still tell the direction of the kitchen (hunger must not flog man pikin).
After setting the food on fire, i move to the bathroom for cleansing (Iwe mimo)..Opens the tap, no water…What the Heck!!!..On a monday morning..Alas, our ‘fire-emitting, tongue-twisting, headache-giving matron’ didn’t pump water..In her own words “Regular pumping of water will spoil the pumping machine”…You say what!!!. What is the actual use of the pumping machine.
Y’all should have seen me casting and binding on those demoralizing monday mornings..
With all annoyance, I banged on her door. As they say, two wrongs can’t make things right. With the last ounce of respect i had left, i explained to her. Thankfully, i had my bath not long after and dressed up for class.
Suddenly, it struck me, MY BREAKFAST. A rush of adrenaline swept through my bones, I literally disappeared and reappeared in the kitchen(Teleport). Luckily for me, i was able to salvage little.
Angry, Sad and discouraged, i walked to campus gate only to meet a long queue of students waiting for buses to conveye them to students union busstop(SUB)..With tears in my eyes, i became the koko master himself “Why me, Lord?”.
After so much struggle and hustle, i boarded a bus to SUB.
To further hone my cursing skills, on getting to my department 7am prompt, the lecturer was said to have called the class representative to cancel the 7am class. I’m sure you know the end aiidy.
The only thing i can say is that the lecturer fell ill the following day. My hands are clean ooo