The Unending Preacher Man

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Finally I’m back to the city of Lagos. I love travelling especially on sundays…that traffic-free highway feeling.
My lazy ass refused to go to church. I didn’t know God had secretly meted out my deserved punishment to me.

As usual, i boarded a bus from Oau campus gate(as i have been doing for the past uncountable years now). Without wasting my precious time, the bus was filled and the three hours journey began.
Within five of the journey, a man (directly behind me) said words of prayer to which everyone chroused ‘Amen’. We all thought that was going to be end,since this was the usual practice.

After the prayer session, the man further went on to imploy passengers to praise God and he said a statement i hate to reckon with “Let’s be in the mood of worship”. What!! Why else was i created? I was made to worship him. That’s who i am. Well, I’m starting to sound like a preacher myself. So, i quietly let that statement slid(as if i had a choice, sef). After about twenty minutes, the worship and praise session ended. I breathed a sigh of relief and silently munched the words “Thank you Father”.

Suddenly, i heard the voice like the sound of a mighty rushing wind. Lo and behold, it was our “Daddy in the Lord” preaching. Holy mother of mary!!! What I do? “Father, please let this cup pass over me…I repent of all my sins..i promise to always keep the Sabbath day holy” Nevertheless, God’s will had to be done.

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The preaching continued alongside the journey. Thirty minutes passed…One hour went by, our ‘Daddy G.O’ was now in the spirit. He kept speaking the words endlessly and passionately with adorning bible verses…
Not long after, i developed headache not because of the unceasing preaching but because of the pitch and Timbre of his voice. Even the wife of our Daddy G.O was fast asleep.

Finally brethren, after an hour and thirty minutes, the conclusion of the church session was said and we said the grace literally. I felt like jumping. I could see the host of heaven congratulating me as I finished the race in good faith.

ZZZ -Zzzz-ZZzzz – hngGGggh -Ppbhww – zZZzzzZZ”
I turned around and behold Daddy G.O was fast asleep๐Ÿ˜ด and sonorously snoring….Truly, he is a witness of Christ even to the uttermost part of the earth๐ŸŒ. I jejely inserted my earpiece into my ears. God be praised!!!

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Happy 25th Wedding Anniversary to my Parents

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Yayyyyyy…. My parents celebrated their silver jubilee wedding anniversary last week. So sorry i’m just letting y’all know, I am not the “Megaphone” type. Don’t expect pictures either o.

Five quick facts about them:
1. Their nicknames are Tom and Jerry (they pray, laugh, eat, and yess…. fight together). These nicknames were given to them by my big brother.
2. They both love God crazily (that’s why I’m still this sane….Una sabi sef)
3. They are each other’s aproko partner(chooiii….they can gossip for Africa, even upto the extent of being late for work).
4. They are both last borns(Maybe that’s why they are so compatible…abeg me sef dey find any single guy wey be lastborn o)
5. They are both using the same phone model (the only difference is that Mum’s phone is gold in colour, while that of Dad is black).

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So to the womb that bore Tee(My one and only brother) & I and the hands that nurtured us:

“25 years is a long time. And I thank God that He has kept you both through thick and thin even as you help each other achieve your goals. Your shared laughter, your shared companionship and love, even shared fights never ceases to amaze me. I pray that your union and love for each other grows stronger, bigger and wider. May you never cherish memories of the past. Rather, you will have bigger, happier and more glorious days ahead. Your love for each other has made my life and  that of my brother happy and bright. I pray that as you have groomed us and made us blossom, may you live tremendously long to enjoy  the fruits of our enlargement and expansion. HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY”

Tee & I love you to the moon ๐ŸŒ™ and back.๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

Help!!!! I Need Your Advice

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Currently posting this story from a bike seat. Endurance, they say, is the key. A quick rewind to how it all started.

So, i went out today to get some minor things. On my way back, at the busstop, i did a quick survey of the bike men properly in order to avoid being thrown like a javelin into the bush by bike men that are in the upper room speaking in other tongues as a result of alcohol and cigarettes. Thankfully i sighted an old bikeman who looked sane but eventually turned out not to be. We agreed on the fare and took off.

Zoom…… Zoom…. Zoom
We got to the street opposite my house gate. Only for this sane looking but mentally insane man to drop me directly on the road that divides my house from the next street despite the fact that the gate was wide open..All, he had to do was drive into the compound. My blood boiled.

Trust me to escort him to the point of being dragged in the mud. I respectfully told him to drive into the compound, this old man declined and started throwing insultive words at me..With all Joy and fulfilment, I removed his ignition key and sat confidently on the bike without uttering a word. Ever since he has been screaming his guts out while i am busy blogging.

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But i have a very minor issue and i need your advice. A heavy truck seems to be coming towards our direction, should i alight from the bike or stay and fight for my right like our Mummy Oby Ezekwesili?

Short poems

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Hi Guys, Trust you had a splendid weekend. The word “splendid” makes me remember my awesome event planner friend- Ifeoluwa. She is 101% talented. Follow her on IG@splendidevents_

Back to the matter. I started this week with two lovely poems from my “Assistant boyfriend” and i had to seek for his permission to post it. Make my case no go resemble that of Linda Ikeji. Una sabi say i no get kudi. I call them ‘Chronicles of Presh’.

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And here comes the best part.. I got a personal poem. Yayyyyy…I’m screaming at the top of my voice. A big thank you to him. I know y’all wanna see, y’all must comment oooo!!!

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Follow him on IG@deycallmepresh. He’ll follow asap.
Love you guys.

Daddy’s Bully

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As a child, i grew up hearing lots of stories from my Dad. Both the funny, scary, moral and saddening ones. He is a funny character.
To my Future hubby: Get ready to laugh and also engage in lengthy conversations. Dad can talk till the coming of Christ.

One of Dad’s stories that i can never forget is the story about his primary school bully. Here we go:

Right from when dad was young,he has always had this small stature(i’m his carbon copy). Being an intelligent and brilliant chap (i’m still his carbon copy), he was the Teacher’s Favorite. As a result of this, he had lots of enemies. He also had this problem of being very abusive. His abusive words could make a dead man come alive.

On a fateful Friday, during school hours he got into a hot argument with one of his classmates(a girl) and abused her till she cried. The hefty girl promised to take revenge after school hours. After school closed, dad decided to stay back with his class teacher so as to avoid the girl. He was also silently hoping she would get tired of waiting and eventually go home. His classteacher became suspicious and asked why he was yet to leave the class, he gave a flimsy excuse. After thirty minutes, he felt quite certain that the girl would have gone home. He quietly slid out of the school and passed the back of the school to avoid being seen.

Unknown to him, the girl was well versed in the bible. According to James 1:4(But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing). She had hid herself and was watching him the entire time, even as he passed behind the school. Without wasting time, she and her other female friends waylaid him, she beat him mercilessly and due to the large difference in stature she was able to carry him and throw him on the ground severally. After which, she sat on him as a sign of victory. He was later released to go home. On getting home, he hurriedly entered the bathroom to wash himself thoroughly in order to avoid being questioned by his mother. Monday came, he went to school. Unfortunately the news had spread through the school like wildfire. Soon, it became a proverb. Girls started bullying boys.

Then, the boys decided to redeem their image. A rematch of the fight was called for with full attendance of the students at a playground behind the school. The hefty lady agreed joyfully and this left dad in serious fear and worry.

Soon the D-day came, the fight began. As expected, the girl threw punches like that of Anthony Joshua(Yesss, AJ and I are related…I just like being humble). Sooner than later, she was seated majestically on dad. The boys were disappointed, the girls were rejoicing.
Suddenly, a large scream for help was heard. Alas, it was the hefty girl crying for help. Dad plugged his teeth to her right arm like someone that was convulsing. It took the help of almost all the students present before Dad finally let go of her bleeding arm. Finally, Dad was declared the winner and the boys also had their image redeemed.

Banky W and Adesua Etomi

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So i woke up to this gist of Banky W and Adesua…Real life couple??… I seriously hope this isn’t one of these celebrities stunts..Else, they will have to go to CNN to apologise or be exiled from Nigeria like Jammeh was exiled from gambia.

Well well Love is a beautiful thing. Personally I can’t wait for the “Real Wedding Party”. Hopefully it will be a Lagos parry and not Dubia parry like someone we all know.. Anyways Banky W doesn’t have any baby mama he is running from..Oops did i just spill the beans!!!

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Truth be told, Banky and Adesua look cute together. But abeg, make una think am well o. We are tired of all these cry cry babies giving interviews. I didnt mention names o. Lemme gerra here before i am invited for questioning.

One last gossip: This love story developed a year and half after they became friends. So, ladies if that long time brother isnt talking about the “main thing” yet, please find your square root. I have spoken well, baa?

I’d like to read your thoughts about Banky and Adesua. Please feel free to comment!!!

Night of Reminiscence

Oh lonely night, the stars are brightly shinning…It is the night of remembrance…recall that movie “A walk to remember”

She misses him…She wants to scream for the whole world to hear…She misses those moments…The late night chats, long incessant calls, crazy talks, funny pose pictures, terrible video exchange(despite Mtn’s annoying network), silly fights, weird calling names, romantic gestures, husky voice that oozes out so much care and affection, the single strand of beard that finally comes out after so many years, his gentleman character, his playful look, those shoulders that could almost bear the sins of the whole world, the tiny gold chain with a cross pendant that hugged his skin tight…most especially the name he calls her- MY PUSH.

Yessssssssssss, she misses him but she had to let go. Why?

He forgot the promises, the deals they made, their plans, the moments they had, the jokes they made, the laughter they once shared…All was forgotten in a twinkle of an eye!!!

His actions brought tears to her eyes and thoughts of suicide to her mind. He turned out to be everything he said he wasn’t and even far worse than the others. And again for the umpteenth time she lost. He sees a girl whose spirit he has broken but She sees a strong willed and determined young lady who is ready to turn her pain into gain.

She is shattered but she has to behave like a strong independent lady that she truly is. She has to move on and face her fears. She has to keep her head high above the waters. And on such a lonely night as this she has to cuddle her teddy while listening to Allesia cara’s song- Scars to your beautiful.

P.S: This was a request from a reader. Feel free to request for stories you would love to read here via email- teamiefabs@gmail.com.

I’d be happy to grant your request.